Death Do Us Part

Yesterday, my daughter's grandmother on her mother's side died. She was in her mid 90's and had a stroke earlier in the week. Her general health had been poor for the last few months and so everyone was more or less prepared for her passing. She was the last grandparent living and, since her mother died a few years ago in an accident, I am now my daughter's oldest living direct family member.

I was out walking the dog this morning when that thought struck me. I didn't use to think about age. As I was growing up, we were not big on birthdays. My mother would make a special dinner, but we rarely had parties. Not like today. The grandkids have big birthday parties each and every year.

As we got older, we begin to celebrate the 5's -- like 30, 35, 40... I didn't think much about them. I thought 30 was a great age. I was single at the time, making a good living, and having the time of my life. If I had to be an age forever, I think I would pick 30. 40 was okay. People get freaked out at 50, but I wasn't bothered by my 50th birthday. Even 55 wasn't so bad.

Then I hit 60! And I realized that my life was more than half over. When you are 40, living until you are 80 is a very real possibility. Even when you are 50, living to 100 is possible in this day and age. But 60 -- living to 120 is not reality. So, now my life is more than half over. I am on the downhill side.

I think I have come to terms with it. I use humor to make me feel better. I've make comments here about being old. I can still laugh when I say it now.

Someday I will no longer laugh.